These days, TV shows seem to be filled with curse words, but it wasn't always that way. If you need proof that insults can be pretty darn funny without using a single dirty word, then watch an episode of the hit TV show 'M* A* S* H'. On the CBS series, Colonel Sherman T. Potter, played by actor Harry Morgan, got his share of laughs by shouting some truly creative insults.
Col. Potter, a no-nonsense Army man who had served since the tender age of 15, offered up a plethora of "Potterisms," including some fan favorites like "buffalo bagels" and "beaver biscuits." Pretty memorable lines, right? So the next time you're really ticked off — whether it's because your kids wore their shoes inside the house (again!) or someone at the supermarket accidentally dented your car — instead of defaulting for your usual four-letter word, try throwing out something like "pigeon pellets!" Your anger will have an outlet, and you won't have to worry about your kid overhearing.
All of his best ones make absolutely zero sense.
They're crazy, yet somehow satisfying, right?
We're sensing a food theme here!
See how many non-vulgar options there are?
If you're interested in coming up with your own Potterism, try following this pattern: animal plus food plus a straight face. We tried it with a random animal and food generator and got "sheep potato chips!" Now that doesn't sound appetizing at all, but it does have a certain ring to it, wouldn't you agree?