Every year on the second Sunday in May, we celebrate the most important woman in our life—our mom. But for adoptive mothers, the holiday has another meaning.
Jill Robbins, a mom from San Antonio, TX, has three kids: two boys and a girl. Her sons—7-year-old Kyle and 6-year-old Zack—are adopted from China, while her daughter “came into the family the regular way.”
Every Mother’s Day since 2013, Robbins finds some “quiet time” to write letters to her sons’ birth mothers (Kyle and Zack have different birth moms). “I write little snippets of what they’ve done and accomplished every year, what their challenges and accomplishments have been,” she wrote on Facebook.
When she’s finished, she signs and seals the letters before placing them in a box in her closet.
“I don’t have any place to mail these cards, you see. There’s no such thing as an ‘open Chinese adoption.’ There are laws in China that prohibit a mother from making an adoption plan aka giving a baby up for adoption.”
“So, I buy those cards every year. I write in them. Somewhere on the other side of the world there are two women who would probably give anything to get them.”
“These women wonder where their babies are, I know they do. Although I don’t know the circumstances that led to their decisions, I do wish them peace. I wish they could receive these cards I write every Mother’s Day. I wish they knew their babies were safe and loved. Cherished. Thriving.”
“I write these cards for me. I hold them against my chest before putting them in a shoebox that sits on my closet shelf and I squeeze my eyes shut and I wish so hard that these women who gave me the gifts of my boys can know how much I cherish them.”
This Mother’s Day, give thanks for your mom—adoptive or otherwise—and follow Robbins’ advice.
“Hug all those mamas. Hug them tight. No matter how you slice it, mamas do hard things.”
Read Robbins’ moving post below.