Allison Janney Is a Late Bloomer, and We Love Her For It—Why She Never Married or Had Kids
The 'West Wing' star had three failed engagements, and today she says, 'I really am at peace with not being a mom'
Allison Janney isn’t shy when it comes to discussing her personal life. Although she played a parent on the hit CBS sitcom Mom and won an Oscar for her role as controversial figure skater Tonya Harding’s mom in the 2017 film I, Tonya the 65-year-old has spoken openly about why she never became a mother herself.
Here’s a look at the West Wing star’s love life, and the spot-on things she’s said about choosing not to follow the conventional path of marrying and having kids.
Allison Janney’s love life
Early in her career, Allison Janney had a longterm relationship with actor Dennis Gagomiros, beginning in 1994. While they considered marriage, they ultimately broke up in 2001.
In 2002, she began dating Richard Jenik, who she costarred with in the 2005 indie film Our Very Own. They became engaged in 2004 but broke up two years later.
Janney then had a five-year relationship with Philip Joncas, a production manager she met on the set of the 2013 comedy The Way Way Back. They broke up in 2017, and in recent years the actress has been single.
Looking back on her relationships, Janney said, “I have been engaged three times. Three. Never did it . . . I get cold feet for whatever reason . . . I would still like to find someone to share things with.”
Allison Janney’s take on motherhood
In a 2021 Drew Barrymore Show interview, Janney had wise words to share about her single status, saying, “This time of my life, I’m getting to know who I am and what I want. So, I’d love to eventually find someone to share my life with—but if it doesn’t happen, I think I’ll be just fine.” (She also revealed that her dream man was Rip Wheeler from Yellowstone—relatable!)
As for not having kids, Janney told Barrymore, “I think if I would have found the right guy at the right time who wanted to have kids, I probably would have,” but concluded that, “I would rather regret not having kids than have kids and regret that.”
The Drew Barrymore interview wasn’t the first time Janney got candid about being child-free. In a 2016 New York Times interview, the actress said, “I know what it feels like to love and care about things, but I’ve never had that instinct to have kids. There’s a friend of mine who just graduated from high school, and I was at her party with all these little kids, and she was like, ‘I can’t wait to have kids!’ At her age, I was thinking, I can’t wait to have a dog. I really am at peace with not being a mom.”
Janney also got real about how her busy schedule as an actress made the prospect of motherhood tricky, admitting, “I didn’t have any life outside of work for many years—all of my childbearing years. But I have always known that I never had a strong desire to have kids.”
Even though Janney isn’t a mother, that doesn’t mean she’s not maternal, and she said, “I feel like I’m a mother to my niece and nephew and other friends and family members, and I certainly play a lot of mothers—women that are the glue that hold everything together.”
Janney has often called herself a late bloomer, and this applies to both her career (she became an actress in her 30s, and started to receive professional recognition in her 40s and beyond) and her personal life. In a world that constantly demands women follow a set path, Janney’s dedication to doing things her own way and refusal to follow societal expectations is downright inspiring.
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