‘Night Court’ Star Melissa Rauch on Confidence and Laughter: ‘If You’re Happy, That’s All’ (EXCLUSIVE)
Plus, she opens up about finding joy and rising above the opinions of others
Growing up in New Jersey, Melissa Rauch developed an interest in acting and comedy while attending high school. She even insisted her Bat Mitzvah had a “Melissa’s Comedy Club” theme. “I knew from a young age that I wanted to perform,” says Melissa as our Woman’s World cover girl (get your copy here!).
Even though she was a very shy, introverted young girl who exhibited an extreme reservation in the classroom, she excelled on stage. “I was a theater dork in high school and did all the plays,” Melissa adds. “My theater teacher mentored me throughout school and taught me a lot about relying on my instincts.”
After graduating from Marymount Manhattan College in 2002, Melissa’s early work was a regular contribution on VH1’s Best Week Ever. She became a household name in the form of Bernadette Rosetnkowski-Wolowitz, a co-worker of Penny’s at The Cheesecake Factory, who began dating Howard Wolowitz in the third season of The Big Bang Theory. Other acting credits include True Blood, The Office, Kath & Kim and the film I Love You, Man.
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Today, Melissa has star billing and executive producing credits in the NBC hit Night Court revival playing Judge Abby Stone, the daughter of the late Judge Harold T. Stone from the original Night Court series.
“Success in this business is with years of rejection and a lot of sadness,” she shared, but the words she heard at age 17 from her mother, grandmother and great-aunt still echo in her ears. “Don’t put stock in other people. If you’re happy, that’s all that matters. There was a freedom in hearing those words and I was very grateful for that conversation.” However, she still likes to hear the laughter coming from other people. “I think the power of laughter is something that can never be underestimated. There is so much joy in the communal aspect of laughing and making others laugh. There’s nothing like the electricity of people laughing together.”
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Here, Melissa sits down with Woman’s World and gets real in this exclusive interview:
Woman’s World (WW): You’ve said you’re thrilled to get a laugh from audiences, but what makes you laugh and smile?
Melissa Rauch: I would say from the time I was a kid, I loved watching classic comedy. I grew up loving Carol Burnett and Lucille Ball, and whenever I need a comfort laugh, I go to the classic comedies on TV. And just the joy and laughter I get all the time is from family.
WW: Do you consider laughter to be a priority for one’s overall health?
MR: I really do. The power of laughter should never be underestimated. I’ve seen firsthand the joy it brings—whether sharing stories of my childhood and seeing people laugh or simply sitting around the dinner table with my family.
I often think about laughter therapy, which gained popularity 10 or 15 years ago. There’s something profoundly powerful about laughter, not just when you’re alone but especially when shared. I remember watching my parents laugh, joining in, making eye contact—it was the joy of connection. That communal feeling is special, even necessary.
I think that’s why I was drawn back to a multi-camera sitcom. There’s nothing like the electricity of people laughing together. I feel incredibly fortunate that my job lets me play pretend for a living and make people laugh. There’s a constant stream of laughter throughout the day, and I’m so grateful for that.
WW: What are some little stresses that you overcome? What are a few actionable ways you ease anxiety?
MR: In recent years, I’ve come to see success as the result of years of rejection in this business. I operate with a mindset of “Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.” It’s not that I don’t stay positive or put in the effort, but expectations like “This is going to be the best thing ever” don’t always pan out.
I’ve found that joy often comes from unexpected moments, the ones you don’t plan for. Approaching things with the attitude of “I hope this goes great, but if not, we’ll roll with it” is a helpful space to live in.
WW: How do you balance work with off-camera life?
MR: My mentality has always been that my life and family are my top priority—everything else takes a back seat. That said, I have responsibilities at work and people who depend on me. Knowing that family comes first allows me to handle the rest.
Finding balance is something I’m still working on, especially since, as a producer, a lot of my work happens after hours. So, I fit it in after the kids go to bed or early in the morning, making sure I protect as much family time as possible.
WW: How do you keep your mind and body prepared for long work days and being a mom to two young ones?
MR: I love walking whenever I can. If I have a work call, I’ll take it on a walk—getting in a nice stroll while keeping my energy up. I also try to step outside during lunch or breaks to find some balance. Being outdoors makes me really happy, so I take any opportunity to get out.
I also try to fit in at least 10 minutes of meditation a day. I don’t always succeed, but when I do, it makes a difference. I think that’s the overarching theme is just trying your best and sometimes that best can feel like you’re barely getting there, but I think if everything is done with an intention of coming from a place of love and “I’m trying to make things happen,” I think that’s all we can do on a daily basis.
WW: Do you have a mantra for a simple life?
MR: If I’m trying to consider how I operate, I would say try and find as much joy wherever you can and as much as you can, because we don’t know how long we have here together. I think that’s sort of the North Star of how I try to lead each day.
WW: What is a recent moment of self-care?
MR: My mom came for a visit and we did a mother-daughter mani/pedi. I seriously had not had that done in a long time and it was wonderful to do and get to do with her. It was really special to have that time with her.
WW: Being a self-confessed theater dork in high school—did you ever lack self-confidence or were you one to always believe in yourself and be authentic?
MR: When I was a kid, my confidence around 11 or 12 was really, really high. I wished I could tap into that sometimes. I was a shy kid, very introverted, which wasn’t coming from an insecurity, it was coming from a point of standing back and observing. I would think the tween and teen years were not the easiest for me. I think theater became a place of solace and where I felt my most confident, especially for an introvert trying to masquerade to extrovert. Having theater and those theater friends was huge for me and it enabled me to come out of my shell in a way I couldn’t do in the classroom. I remember teachers saying to my mom that I was really shy in the classroom and were really surprised that I wanted to do theater. At the end of high school, I think I found my way, but there were years of being bullied and feeling other than, but I wouldn’t change a bit of it.
WW: Do you remember the first time you felt comfortable in your own skin?
MR: Toward the end of high school, I had a moment that really stuck with me. I was very close with my mom, grandmother, and great-aunt—three incredibly influential women in my life. I remember them telling me not to care what other people think. They had spent too many years worrying about others’ opinions, only to realize it didn’t matter. “If you’re happy, that’s all that matters,” they said. They didn’t want me to waste time on something they had learned the hard way. There was such freedom in that, and I’ve been grateful for that conversation ever since.
We talked about keeping my eyes on my own path and focusing on my own happiness. I was 17 at the time, still growing into myself, but that lesson stuck. Figuring things out is a lifelong process. In college and beyond, I realized that being an adult doesn’t mean you suddenly have everything figured out. You never stop learning and growing. That’s something I want to carry with me for life—always staying open to growth.
WW: What might you have told your younger self?
MR: I’d say don’t worry—every setback or stumbling block is just part of the path leading you to where you need to be. I struggled as an actor for years, unsure if it would ever happen. I didn’t fit the Hollywood mold, and that came with a lot of sadness.
It felt personal, especially when something I had loved since childhood was just out of reach. When no one is giving you the green light to do what you love, it’s tough—especially when you’re just trying to pay rent. That’s why I started writing, doing stand-up, and creating my own work. I needed to remind myself why I loved getting on stage and making people laugh.
WW: People love your Night Court character, Judge Abby Stone. It seems you add your own effervescence to her.
MR: She, more so than I, is always trying to find the silver lining and the bright side of things. Abby is very much an optimist in that way. It was something we wanted to highlight as a grounding force to her is to have that optimism that doesn’t come from naivete or the fact that she hasn’t seen any darkness in this world; it comes from her having experienced a lot, having her own set of grief, her own set of struggles and she’s choosing every day to choose the light because she knows the other is not for her.
WW: How might you show gratitude or embrace every day?
MR: There’s nothing more powerful than saying thank you and whether that be to a specific person for a specific something they may have brought to your life, large or small, there is something really powerful in saying thank you for people who have come into your life. Whatever you believe, whether it’s a higher power, but I think there’s gratitude to be had in every moment of every day. It’s the same thing we try and instill in our kids of having gratitude and saying thank you for things. If we’re not appreciating what we have, it’s hard to imagine anything good coming through that door.
Conversation
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