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New Year’s Jokes That Will Keep You Laughing Long Past Midnight!

End the year with a chuckle — or several!

Another year under our belts, and we’re ready to ring in 2024! After all the holiday hubbub, there’s nothing like kicking back with a glass (or bottle!) of champagne and celebrating with our loved ones (and Ryan Seacrest, of course). As you reflect back on your accomplishments of 2023 and start your resolutions for 2024, we’ve compiled our best New Year jokes to keep your spirits high — as you drain the spirits in your glass!

If you’re looking for more funny jokes, memes and cartoons (including our 17 Funny Text Messages That Will Make You Laugh So Hard, You’ll Cry Like an Emoji), consider subscribing to our print magazine. We feature games, jokes, and more funny stuff in every issue!

New Year jokes: What New Year's resolution should basketball players avoid making? To travel more!

New Year Jokes: Coat check?

New years jokes cartoon

Well, close enough!

New Year jokes: List of modified goals from last year

It seemed like a good idea at the start…

New Year jokes: The pain of wearing high heels
Westend61/Getty Images

That’s one way to do it!

New Year jokes: Cartoon of woman on computer checking off diet goals
Mark Lynch

Best laid plans…

New Year jokes: What we plan to do with our friends in the new year (work out at the gym) vs. what we actually do with our friends in the new year (drink champagne)
kali9/Getty Images; Yellow Dog Productions/Getty Images

Our kind of gentleman caller

New Year jokes: What happened to the man who stole a calendar? He got 12 months!
New Year jokes: Jimmy Fallon saying, "Thank you, New Year's resolutions. Or as they're called in February, 'Say what now?'"
NBC/Contributor/Getty Images
New Year jokes: Bette Midler saying, “A new study shows that champagne can cure Alzheimer’s. That’s strange, whenever I finish a bottle of bubbly, I can’t remember a damn thing!”
Dimitrios Kambouris/Staff/Getty Images

If only!

New Year Jokes: top 5 list of resolutions you wish your husband would make

For even more laughs and smiles, click through the links below!

How YOU Brewin’? 31 Coffee Jokes Guaranteed to Put a Smile on Your Mug

29 Mom Jokes Guaranteed To Make You Laugh So Hard, You’ll Need a Time-Out

Book Jokes That Will Make You Laugh So Hard The Librarian Will Give You a Dirty Look

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