Jay Leno Opens Up About Caregiving For His Wife With Advanced Dementia: ‘I Like Taking Care Of Her’
The former late-night host shares how love and laughter keep him strong while caring for Mavis
After more than four decades together, Jay Leno is standing by his wife even in the face of turbulence. The former Tonight Show host, who will turn 75 on April 28, recently opened up about his experience being the caregiver of his wife, Mavis Leno, 78, who lives with advanced dementia. See what Leno shared about this chapter of his marriage and take a look back at the pair’s relationship.
Jay Leno opens up about life as a caregiver
Jay was granted conservatorship of his wife’s estate after he revealed that she is suffering from dementia in April 2024, after first filing in January that year. Leno was deemed “suitable and qualified” by the court to be Mavis’s conservator, according to NBC News.
A court-appointed lawyer who recommended approving Leno’s request said Mavis “sometimes does not know her husband, Jay, nor her date of birth,” at the time.
Appearing on the April 23 episode of the “In Depth with Graham Bensinger” podcast, Jay got candid about the demands of caring for Mavis in the midst of her cognitive decline.
“I have never been particularly challenged,” admitted Jay. “I was not in the Army, I didn’t have to shoot anybody, I didn’t have to risk my life. When you get married, you take a vow. ‘Will I live up to this? Or will I be like a sleazy guy, if something happens to my wife, I’m out banging the cashier at the mini-mart?’”
“No, I didn’t,” he confirmed. “I enjoy the time with my wife. I go home, I cook dinner for her, watch TV, it’s OK. It’s basically what we did before except now I have to feed her and do all the things. But, I like it. I like taking care of her.”
In addition to the love and history the two share, Jay explained that Mavis has always been a “very independent person.” As she deals with these health problems, he said, he cherishes being there as she needs him.
“When you have to feed someone and change them, carry them to the bathroom and do that kind of stuff every day, it’s a challenge,” Jay said. “And it’s not that I enjoy doing it, but I guess I enjoy doing it.”
How Jay Leno finds joy even during difficult days
To keep things as positive as possible, Jay revealed that one of his coping mechanisms is to find humor in simple moments. For example, he practices picture flashcards with Mavis to refresh her memory.
“Remember this, honey? It’s kind of funny,” he remembered telling her. “Honey, that’s President Obama, we had dinner.”
“Oh, not me,” Mavis rebutted.
“Yeah, honey, it was you. We went to the White House!,” Jay assured her.
Why Jay embraces being Mavis’s caregiver
Jay and Mavis have been married for 45 years. He described the first 40 as “unbelievable.” The last five have been “challenging,” he said, but their connection and devotion to one another are his reasons for dedicating himself to her wellbeing.
“I think there’s more love now,” Jay said. “Because, why am I doing this? You know? Well, this is why. At some point in my life, I’m going to be called upon to defend myself, stand up, whatever it might be. I think that’s really what defines a marriage. That’s really what love is. That’s what you do. I’m glad I didn’t cut and run, I’m glad I didn’t run off with some woman half my age or any of that silly nonsense. I would rather be with her than doing something else.”
A look back at Jay and Mavis Leno’s 45-year love story
Jay and Mavis at the Comedy Store, a legendary comedy club in Los Angeles, in 1976. Mavis was an audience member and Jay was performing standup, and Mavis told the Los Angeles Times she remembered being immediately struck by Jay.
They got married on a meaningful date
“I always had this idea that I would never get married,” she told People in 1987. “It was a big thing with me, part of my vehement feminism. But with Jay, I began to realize that this was the first time I was ever with someone where I had a perfect, calm sense of having arrived at my destination.”
The couple had an intimate wedding held at a friend’s house on the same day as Jay’s parents’ wedding anniversary.
“I thought my mom would like that—November 3, 1980,” Jay told the L.A. Times. Mavis added that she was “crazy” about the comedian’s parents.
The couple overcame unfamiliar transitions
Mavis also revealed to the outlet that Jay’s sudden skyrocket to television stardom threw the couple for a bit of a loop and tested their relationship.
“When Jay got The Tonight Show, the first years were hard for me,” she said. “All of a sudden, Jay had this day job, and every person on the planet was asking him for something.”
So, Mavis intentionally did the opposite and tried not to lean on her husband.
“Then it gave him relief at home, but that can also feel like distance,” she reflected. “I don’t know if he was aware of it because he was so swamped by the job—just the time demands alone, and the pressure.”
Mavis also shared that it took her some time to get used to Jay’s busy schedule and being away from one another so often, but navigating their new life together ultimately brought them closer. And, Jay’s career wasn’t the only major change the pair grappled with.
“However steadfast your feelings for each other, your life circumstances are going to go all over the place,” she said. “We’ve been through the death of my parents and his and the loss of Jay’s brother. We started off with not very much money, and now we have a lot. But we’ve stayed the same. The great thing about Jay is whatever he says, that’s it. It’s genuine.”
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