Can You Afford To Show Yourself a Little More Kindness? Take This Quiz To Find Out
How stress-proof are you?
You may not often contemplate your level of self-compassion, but showing yourself more kindness can reduce agita and enhance motivation. Take this quiz, created by the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley, in collaboration with psychology professor Kristin Neff, PhD, author of Fierce Self-Compassion, to identify how you typically treat yourself when upset. The average of your answers will reveal how you rate on the scale.
1. I try to be patient and understanding toward the aspects of my personality that I don’t like.
- Almost Never
- Sometimes
- About Half the Time
- Fairly Often
- Almost Always
2. When I’m feeling down, I tend to obsess and fixate on everything that’s wrong.
- Almost Never
- Sometimes
- About Half the Time
- Fairly Often
- Almost Always
3. When things are going badly for me, I see the difficulties as part of life that everyone goes through.
- Almost Never
- Sometimes
- About Half the Time
- Fairly Often
- Almost Always
4. When I’m feeling down, I try to approach my feelings with curiosity and openness.
- Almost Never
- Sometimes
- About Half the Time
- Fairly Often
- Almost Always
5. When I think about my inadequacies, it tends to make me feel more separate and cut off from the rest of the world.
- Almost Never
- Sometimes
- About Half the Time
- Fairly Often
- Almost Always
6. I try to be loving toward myself when I’m feeling emotional pain.
- Almost Never
- Sometimes
- About Half the Time
- Fairly Often
- Almost Always
7. When I fail at something important to me, I become consumed by feelings of inadequacy.
- Almost Never
- Sometimes
- About Half the Time
- Fairly Often
- Almost Always
8. When I’m down and out, I remind myself that there are lots of other people in the world feeling like I am.
- Almost Never
- Sometimes
- About Half the Time
- Fairly Often
- Almost Always
9. When something upsets me, I try to keep my emotions in balance.
- Almost Never
- Sometimes
- About Half the Time
- Fairly Often
- Almost Always
10. When times are really difficult, I tend to be tough on myself.
- Almost Never
- Sometimes
- About Half the Time
- Fairly Often
- Almost Always
11. I try to see my failings as part of the human condition.
- Almost Never
- Sometimes
- About Half the Time
- Fairly Often
- Almost Always
12. I’m kind to myself when I’m experiencing suffering.
- Almost Never
- Sometimes
- About Half the Time
- Fairly Often
- Almost Always
How You Rate
1 to 2.5: Low in Self-Compassion You’re causing yourself unnecessary suffering by being so hard on yourself. “In general, ask if you would treat a friend the same way in a similar situation and try to give yourself the same warmth and support you’d show to a friend,” says Kristin Neff, PhD.
2.5 to 3.5: Moderate in Self-Compassion You’re not mean to yourself, but you could work on being supportive more consistently.
3.5 to 5: High in Self-Compassion Keep being a good friend to yourself, especially when things are really difficult.
This quiz originally appeared on Greater Good, the online magazine of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley at greatergood.berkeley.edu. For more information on the mental and physical health benefits of practicing self-compassion, visit Neff’s self-compassion.org.
A version of this article appeared in our partner magazine, How To Beat Stress: The Ultimate Guide To Feeling Happier, in 2022.
