No matter how much you love someone, there will always be disagreements that can get under your skin. One of the best ways to make sure you’re able to really understand where the other person is coming from is knowing your and your significant other’s love language.
If you’re unfamiliar with the phrase “love language,” it’s essentially a way to break down how we each individually give, accept, and appreciate affection. The idea was introduced by Gary Chapman, the best-selling author of The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts ($9.59, Amazon). According to him, we all fall into one of the following categories:
Words of Affirmation
For someone like this, they absolutely love hearing random compliments and admiration even more than they would something like a small gift. They can also be completely wrecked by the slightest insult, so you have to choose your words very carefully in order to communicate with them clearly.
Acts of Service
Someone with this love language is deeply appreciative any time their partner offers to help them with a task — not out of obligation, but affection. It can be as small as doing the dishes together or noticing when they seem stressed out by the amount of errands they’re running, but it means the world to them.
No, this isn’t referring to intimate alone time together. Instead, this is someone who you’d describe as touchy-feely with their loved ones. Warm hugs and gentle pats are how they show that they feel comfortable and safe with their partner.
Spending time together is obviously essential for any relationship, but for someone with this love language, that also means giving them your total attention. No TVs or music to distract you, no food in front of you — just being completely present in the moment with each other.
This might sound materialistic, but the gifts don’t necessarily mean things you buy from a store. For them, it truly is the thought that counts — finding a small token that reminds you of them and shows you think of them even when they aren’t around is the way to their heart.
Did any of those descriptions remind you of yourself or your loved one? If not, you can take one of the more in-depth quizzes on the 5 Love Languages official website to hopefully get some more clarity.
Relationships can be tricky, but miscommunication is usually the reason things start to go downhill. Understanding how to avoid that with someone you love can help keep your spark alive for a good, long time.
We write about products we think our readers will like. If you buy them, we get a small share of the revenue from the supplier.