Ann Patchett Shares 6 Favorite Books To Bring Comfort and Joy to Caregivers (Exclusive)
Take a break and enjoy these heartfelt reads that deliver the wisdom, empathy and humor you deserve
Key Takeaways
- Ann Patchett, owner of Parnassus Books, recommends six books that offer relief for caregivers.
- Reading to loved ones—or reading for yourself—is a powerful act of caregiving and self-care.
- Finding the right book can help you feel less alone and better understand your challenges.
Many of us find ourselves in a caregiving role or know someone who is in the thick of it. And that work can weigh heavy on our hearts. While I was reading the book Whistler recently, which has been on the New York Times bestseller list for the past seven weeks, I was struck by the power of this line: “The problem with having too many parents is having to watch them all die.” Wow. Author Ann Patchett really hit a nerve with that sentiment. So I decided to call Patchett—one of Woman’s World’s favorite authors—to ask her about the beloved books she recommends for this emotional season of our lives as caregivers. Here’s what the always-thoughtful author had to say about this tenderhearted topic. Don’t miss our exclusive conversation. We hope these books bring you moments of calm, peace and rest amid your important task of tending to those around you.
Why Ann Patchett is the perfect guide for finding comfort in books
Why turn to Patchett at this moment? She isn’t just a brilliant novelist. She’s the perfect person to ask about all things book-worthy. As the owner of the independent shop Parnassus Books in Nashville, she reads everything. And she has an encyclopedic knowledge of the specific books to recommend for life’s ever-changing moments. Time and time again, she prescribes books like salves that soothe us.
6 books Ann Patchett recommends for caregivers
If you’re going through a challenging season, caring for others or just trying to manage the curveballs of your own life, Patchett has a book to help. These are the six memorable books she recommends to remind us that we’re not alone.
When you need wisdom: ‘Tiny Beautiful Things’ by Cheryl Strayed
The first book that comes to Patchett’s mind is this collection, based on the advice column Dear Sugar and written by the author of the memoir Wild. She tells Woman’s World, “It’s so funny. I was ordering that for somebody the other day. Some friend of mine was going through a hard time, and I was like, ‘Well, you’ve read Tiny Beautiful Things, right?'”
Patchett explains, “It’s like the Bible for empathy and compassion and really digging down past the answer you’ll get to on the first or second or third try. Going beyond that to find something deeper and better. It’s brilliant.” She adds, “I just find that book an endless font of wisdom and comfort.”
One online reviewer agrees: “This woman has some seriously great advice. Compelling and thought-provoking. From almost every life and love situation you could think of, she has excellent, brutal and honest advice.”
When you need to laugh: ‘Sandwich’ by Catherine Newman
“Well, of course, Sandwich springs to mind,” Patchett says next. The 2024 novel is aptly titled for the sandwich generation—those of us juggling both aging parents and growing children. The story follows a menopausal woman named Rocky, who is trying to enjoy a week-long family vacation on Cape Cod. Patchett says, “It’s a perfect book because it just makes you laugh, you know, and sometimes that’s what you really need to do.”
One online reviewer said that, by the end of this book, “I finally let out a breath I must have been holding. If you’re looking to smile, laugh, wonder, and cry, this is worth picking up.”
For a dose of empathy: ‘Between Two Kingdoms’ by Suleika Jaouad
What else does Patchett recommend? “A book that I read not too long ago that I loved: Between Two Kingdoms by Suleika Jaouad.” She says, “She had leukemia in her 20s, and actually has it again now. But it’s about her journey as a young person, as a sick person, but also her relationship to being the person who is cared for. And it gave me so much perspective, like how desperately she needs her parents, how she wants to push them away, how she can see herself manipulating her boyfriend because she doesn’t want him to go out and have one fun night.”
Patchett explains, “I think for anyone who was a caregiver, to read that side of it would be a fantastic experience. I mean, when I read that book, I really thought, ‘Oh, there are a lot of things I would have done differently. Things that I know now that I didn’t know before.’ It’s just a wonderful, wonderful book.”
Patchett is emphatic about experiencing this particular book, subtitled “a memoir of a life interrupted” in audio format, with the author reading her own story. She stresses, “Do the audio. Listen to it.”
One online reviewer shared, “The rawness, honesty and sheer determination of the author through some of the most trying times of her life are laid bare and revealed to us from the deepest places of her person.”
To be reminded of unconditional love: ‘A Three Dog Life’ by Abigail Thomas
“Okay, this is also a great book about caregiving, but loss and heartbreak,” says Patchett. “It’s a true story.” She explains, “She and her new husband are so in love. And they live in New York and he goes out to take the dogs for the last walk of the night at 10:30, and the doorman calls her and says, ‘The dogs came back, but your husband didn’t.’” Patchett adds, “The leash broke, and one of the dogs ran, and [the husband] ran after it, and he was hit by a car—and he’s terribly brain damaged.”
So what happens after the accident? “She takes care of him for years and years.” Patchett points out, “I’m 62, so when I think about love and loss, I’m not thinking about getting dumped. I’m thinking about caring for somebody.” She quips, “It’s just a different time of life.”
And if Patchett’s recommendation isn’t enough to convince you: Stephen King blurbed this book by calling it, “The best memoir I have ever read. This book is a punch to the heart. Read it.”
To explore memory: ‘So Long, See You Tomorrow’ by William Maxwell
It’s not just memoirs that can bring comfort at this stage. Patchett raves, “There are also novels: William Maxwell’s So Long, See You Tomorrow is a book I’ll go back to.” This backlist title from 1980 is a National Book Award winner.
The short novel explores memory, trauma and how well we truly know another person. The main character tries to reconstruct a crime in his mind that happened decades ago to understand how it shaped his life.
One online reviewer shared: “The best book I’ve read this year, a spot-on look at the heartbreaking nature of life. It gripped me in a way that cynical old men are rarely moved.”
To find unexpected community: ‘Birds of America’ by Lorrie Moore
There’s one more book Patchett has recommended for caregivers that deserves mention. A couple years ago, at a National Writers Series event during the Tom Lake book tour, I heard Patchett talk about Lorrie Moore’s Birds of America—a pitch-perfect book for nurturers. Patchett recommended it to a friend whose daughter was battling cancer. It was the right book recommendation for the right moment. Patchett said, “I just get chills thinking about that story.”
The 1998 collection of short fiction stories features what has been called a “brilliant series of portraits of the unhinged, the lost, the unsettled of our America.” The slice-of-life book stars characters living with polio, Down syndrome, cystic fibrosis and other health challenges.
One online reviewer shared, “The peculiarities of the characters caused me to look at them and their situations with a different perspective. [The characters are] trying to make some kind of meaning out of what happens to them. I was enchanted.”
Sometimes, it’s not about the book—it’s about the comfort of reading itself
At the end of the day, any book can help you pass the time, whether reading alone or to the person you’re tending to. Patchett shared how she read to her grandmother when she was dying. But that’s not the only time she’s used books to be a caregiver. She told me, “I had a friend who died a few years ago of a long, hard neurological disease, and I would go and read to her.” So sometimes, it’s about the time, not the title.
What matters most: We wish you well with these book recommendations. May they help you find quiet moments of joy so you can care for yourself while caring for others. You’re doing important work and deserve an occasional break with a trusted tale.
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