‘Duck Dynasty’ Sadie Robertson Shares 3 Tricks For Setting Boundaries She Learned From Her Mom and Grandma (Exclusive)
The reality TV star opens up about tips she learned from her mom and grandma to end perfectionism and say no
Key Takeaways
- Sadie Robertson Huff learned that setting healthy boundaries isn’t selfish.
- Seeing her mother act despite fear inspired Sadie to embrace courage.
- Sadie lets go of public expectations to focus on what God calls her to do.
Between raising three daughters, running a ministry and writing books, Sadie Robertson Huff has plenty on her plate. But the Duck Dynasty star has learned that being there for everyone doesn’t mean saying yes to everything.
In her new book, It’s Not Personal: Coming Face to Face with Who You Really Are, So You Can Become All You Are Meant to Be (out November 10th), Sadie encourages readers to embrace who God created them to be, let go of the pressure to be perfect and build relationships that allow them to be truly known. And when it comes to finding that balance in her own life, she’s taking a few cues from two women she admires most: her mom, Korie Robertson, and her grandmother, Chrys Howard. Here, she shares with Woman’s World what made her feel better about setting boundaries, let go of perfectionism and stop caring about what others think.
Learning when to say no
As women, it’s easy to feel like we should be able to do everything for everyone, especially when it comes to our families. Sadie admits she’s fallen into that trap, too. “I have definitely said yes, just not wanting to disappoint and said yes just because I didn’t know how to say no,” she shares.
But watching her mom and grandmother navigate their own commitments has taught her the importance of knowing your capacity. In fact, her grandmother, Chrys, still helps with Sadie’s children while also making time for her own work and calling. Sometimes that means telling Sadie she can’t watch her daughter Kit because she’s recording a podcast or traveling to Nashville.
Rather than feeling disappointed by her unavailability, Sadie cheers her on. “For me as a granddaughter to see someone who’s 73 continuing to walk in their calling is bigger for me that she does that than even staying home with Kit,” she says.
Her grandmother’s example reminds her that making room for your own passions isn’t selfish. It’s also a beautiful example for the next generation. As Sadie points out, women at different stages of life have different capacities and priorities. “Sometimes 20-year-olds take these messages that are kind of meant for like 50-year-olds, ‘Oh, yeah. Burnout,’ and everybody else is like, ‘Burnout at 23?’ I’m like, ‘No, this is our time to go for it.'”
Releasing the pressure to be perfect
Growing up, Sadie thought being an adult meant having all the answers and never feeling afraid. Her mom always seemed so steady and sure of herself, but as Sadie got older and became a mother herself, she discovered there was more to the story.
“As I have become an adult and a mom, I’m like, ‘Mom, you were scared! You were scared making those decisions. You were unsure if this is what the Lord had for our family when you said yes to it; you were scared for us as kids. When you said yes to going into TV, like it, it just was like whoa!'”
Seeing that her mom had faced uncertainty and moved forward anyway gave Sadie an even greater appreciation for her. “This revelation that my mom felt scared and yet she did it anyways. Yet she trusted God anyways. And man, it made me respect her so much more,” Sadie says.
It also helped her recognize that she didn’t have to wait until she felt completely confident or had everything figured out to take a leap of faith. That same lesson came up when she confided in Christian author and speaker Lisa Harper about a personal struggle. Nervous about what Lisa might think, Sadie was surprised when she responded, “Well, dear Lord, do you think we’re all perfect?” The reminder that even the women she admired had their own struggles is what taught Sadie to see the value of being honest about the messy parts of life instead of feeling pressure to hide them.
Stop letting other people’s expectations call the shots
Having grown up in the public eye, Sadie has experienced firsthand how quickly people can form opinions about the different seasons of her life. From her Duck Dynasty days to speaking to college students, becoming a wife and now raising three children, her audience has watched her evolve. But she’s learned from her family that she can’t let other people’s expectations keep her from embracing the season she’s in.
“If I would have put the weight in what other people thought of what I was doing, that would have held the biggest weight in my life. I would have stopped doing this a long time ago,” she says. Instead, she’s learned to focus on what God is calling her to do rather than trying to please everyone watching. She’s also become more comfortable admitting when she doesn’t have all the answers.
“It’s actually okay that I don’t know, and yet I am committed to learning more about God,” she explains. For Sadie, setting that kind of boundary means giving herself permission to grow, change and learn along the way without feeling she has to prove herself to anyone.
The power of being fully known
Ultimately, that’s the freedom Sadie hopes readers discover in It’s Not Personal. Rather than hiding the parts of ourselves we think others might not understand, she encourages us to embrace our stories and imperfections, and recognize that being fully known is part of what makes us who we are.
It’s a lesson she’s putting into practice as she continues to navigate life in the public eye and the ever-changing seasons of motherhood. “I have to show up just so authentically to who I am, where I am,” she says. And by letting go of the pressure to be everything to everyone, Sadie is making room to live fully in the life she’s been given.
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