Jenny Mollen on Being Jason Biggs’ ‘American Pie Spare’: ‘It Drove Me Crazy to Always Be Brushed to the Side’
The actress and author reveals how feeling overlooked in her marriage became her creative superpower
Key Takeaways
- Reclaiming: Jenny Mollen, 46, reflects on the 'maddening' early years of being Biggs' wife.
- The 'spare' mentality: Mollen felt like an 'American Pie spare' before finding her own voice.
- Midlife liberation: Feeling invisible became her superpower, fuel for her career as an author.
For years, Jenny Mollen felt like a guest in her own life. The actress and bestselling author—who married American Pie star Jason Biggs in 2008, only to announce their split after 18 years earlier this month—is opening up about what it really felt like to step into a marriage where her husband’s fame eclipsed her own. And how that experience ended up shaping the bold, unfiltered voice that’s made her a fan favorite today.
On Episode 15 of the What Matters With Liz video podcast for Woman’s World, which was recorded before the end of her marriage was made public, the author and actress gets candid about life in her marriage and her story is one so many women will recognize: the slow realization that being overlooked doesn’t have to be the end of your story. Sometimes, it’s just the beginning of a much better one.
Watch Episode 15 right here! ‘What Matters with Jenny Mollen: Connection, Humor & Grit’
When ‘wife of’ becomes your whole identity
In an honest reflection, Mollen revealed that the early years of her relationship with Biggs came with an unexpected identity crisis. The ambitious eldest daughter who had built her own acting and writing career suddenly found herself reduced to a footnote at her husband’s side.
“When I got together with Jason Biggs, I always had a chip on my shoulder in the beginning,” Mollen shared. “Suddenly, I married this guy who, in a lot of ways, career-wise totally eclipsed me and everybody was like, ‘Oh my god, Jason Biggs.’ And I became the guest and it drove me crazy to always just be like, you know, brushed to the side.”
The experience of being introduced as someone’s wife, mother or plus-one—rather than as your own person with your own accomplishments—is a familiar frustration for many women. For Mollen, who had built a real career of her own, the dynamic stung in a particularly sharp way.
The ‘spare’ vs. the ‘heir’
Mollen borrowed a now-famous phrase to describe how it felt. “To be the spare and not the heir,” she said. “I was the American Pie spare.”
The phrase—popularized by Prince Harry’s memoir of the same name—captures the unique pain of being positioned as secondary in a partnership, no matter how much you bring to the table. For an accomplished woman who had spent years carving out her own identity, suddenly being treated as an accessory to someone else’s success was, in her words, maddening.
“So that drove me mad,” she admitted.
How feeling invisible became her superpower
Here’s where Mollen’s story takes a beautiful turn. She reflected on how that very dynamic—combined with her upbringing—shaped the bold, often outrageous voice that’s earned her hundreds of thousands of devoted fans.
“I always had this feeling growing up with like two narcissist parents and then, you know, marrying somebody that was like wildly more famous than I was that like nobody was listening to what I was doing anyway,” she said. “That I could get away with saying whatever I wanted.”
It’s a strikingly honest admission. For many women, feeling unheard becomes a source of resentment or silence. For Mollen, it became creative fuel. If no one was paying attention, she reasoned, she had nothing to lose by speaking her mind.
“Nobody cares. So, I would just say whatever I wanted, especially before kids, I didn’t feel like there were rules or boundaries. Everything was on limits because like nobody was really listening.”
The result? A wildly entertaining career as an author—her memoirs have built her a devoted following—and a social media presence where fans tune in for her candid takes on marriage, motherhood and the absurdities of celebrity-adjacent life.
When the ‘spare’ becomes the main event
What Mollen describes is something many women experience in their 40s and beyond: the slow, sometimes painful realization that the way others see you doesn’t have to define who you are. The “spare” framing she once felt boxed into eventually became a kind of liberation. When you stop performing for an audience that isn’t watching, you get to figure out who you actually are.
For Mollen, that meant leaning into her voice, her humor and her perspective—not as Jason Biggs’ wife, but as Jenny Mollen, full stop. Her books became bestsellers. Her social media became a destination. And the woman who once felt brushed to the side became someone millions of people genuinely wanted to hear from.
There’s something deeply relatable in Mollen’s story, even for women who’ve never walked a red carpet. So many of us have felt invisible at some point—overshadowed by a more successful spouse, dismissed at work, treated like a supporting player in our own families. The instinct can be to shrink, to quiet ourselves, to accept the role we’ve been assigned.
The “spare,” it turns out, can become the main event. You just have to decide to write your own story.
What Matters with Liz airs every Wednesday on YouTube, Spotify, Amazon Music and Apple Podcasts, with highlights and behind-the-scenes clips shared on Instagram and Facebook.
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