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Vodka Is Joan Crawford’s Secret to a Good Party

It’s no secret that the internet is a gold mine for old photos of Hollywood stars. We’ve grown accustomed to seeing photos of stars when they were young, often with little context other than an estimated date the photo was taken. But with this unearthed picture of Joan Crawford, it’s not just the image doing the talking. She’s got some advice for the world about throwing a good party. Like most “tips” from decades past, it’s pretty hilarious reading it today!

Pulled from a vintage publication and posted on the website Reddit, this clip shows a gorgeous image of the classic starlet looking lovely as ever, wearing a belted dress and a pearl necklace with perfectly shaped brows and a no-nonsense up-do. She stands expectantly in front of a dinner table, with a few dishes and bowls of food set out. Clearly, she’s ready for some houseguests — perhaps at a holiday party. You can almost immediately tell by her facial expression that this is no ordinary party — that’s for sure.

Below the photo is quite possibly the funniest caption we’ve read all week — a quote straight from Joan Crawford herself about entertaining at home. Of course, there’s heaps of advice on the internet today about how to ensure your party stands out among the rest. Joan Crawford, as you can probably imagine, blows away all our expectations here.

Joan Crawford’s rules for throwing a party still hold up today from funny

As can be expected, the comments on the picture are just as much of a doozy as the original quote itself.

One user wrote, “Oh, so just a few CEOs and politicians. No big deal, lemme get my phone book.”

Another wrote, “What about us hippies who wear shoes & wash regularly?”

Oh internet, what have you wrought?

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