Marisa Tomei Dishes on Her Clever New Comedy ‘You’re Dating a Narcissist!’ and Her Life-Changing Advice (Exclusive)
The Oscar-winner shares why she loved 'getting down in the dirt' in her latest movie
Key Takeaways
- Marisa Tomei's new movie 'You're Dating a Narcissist!' is now in theaters.
- Tomei shares her experience of making the film and working with new director Ann Marie Allison.
- Tomei shares her life advice, 'Dance a lot,' and says it's important to 'stay in your body.'
Marisa Tomei has long been beloved for her charismatic performances in films like My Cousin Vinny, In the Bedroom and The Wrestler, and the Oscar-winning actress’ latest movie, You’re Dating a Narcissist!, provides an excellent showcase for her comedic talents. Tomei plays Judy, a psychology professor with a specialty in spotting narcissists—and she soon finds her expertise hitting close to home, as her daughter (Ciara Bravo) is set to marry a man she just met (Marco Pigossi), and who Judy suspects is a narcissist. When Judy ventures to L.A. with her sassy best friend (Sherry Cola) in an attempt at talking sense into her daughter and stopping the wedding, comic chaos ensues.
With You’re Dating a Narcissist! now playing in theaters, Marisa Tomei sat down with Woman’s World to discuss the film and what she loves about it.
A surprisingly personal story from a first-time director
While You’re Dating a Narcissist! may look like a fun rom-com on the surface, it emerged from personal trauma. “The director, Ann Marie Allison, is making her feature debut, and she had a longtime dream of doing this film. She was trying to do it for about 10 years,” Tomei says. “She had a not-great experience of almost marrying a narcissist, and the movie was born from that. She was a psychologist before becoming a filmmaker, and she knows her stuff, but this still happened to her. It was many moons ago, and she’s happily married now, so she took what that creep put her through and was able to spin it into artistic gold. I’m proud of her for that, and I’m happy to be part of her vision.”
Narcissism has been a big part of the cultural conversation lately, with constant think pieces and TikToks about the controversial personality trait, and Tomei says, “It’s one of those things that doesn’t go out of style, unfortunately.” “Society is not in the healthiest place right now, and I think the technique of ‘idealize, devalue, discard’ that narcissists often use is something we should all be on the lookout for,” she continues. “I wasn’t drawn to the story because I had a particularly awful situation happen, but Ann Marie did, and she had a lot to get off her chest. Narcissism can be a bit overused in the vernacular now, but it’s still quite prevalent.”
Getting wild with comedy
Marisa Tomei first earned acclaim for her hilarious performance in My Cousin Vinny, and nearly 35 years later, she’s funny as ever in You’re Dating a Narcissist! “In comedy, you have to have a director who lets you go wild while also understanding rhythm,” she says. “We had a great cast. Sherry Cola is hilarious, and she takes a lot of risks. We had very good chemistry, so we could improvise together and make each other laugh.”
One of the moments that made Tomei laugh the most came when she and her costar got into some physical comedy. “There was a scene where Sherry and I had to get down in the dirt. We had to be way down with sprinklers going off, and we were laughing in the bushes,” she says. “It was really fun, and we had to do it quickly. It was just so silly to find ourselves laying in the mud together in between takes.”
Colorful outfits and the power of dance
Tomei looks stylish throughout her new film, which features costume design by Lou Schad, and says, “My character is a professor, but it’s still a comedy, so we needed bold colors and patterns. We got a lot of things second-hand, but they look fresh and crisp.” When she’s wearing oversized glasses, Diane Keaton-esque trousers or chunky platform shoes, she explains, “The professorial style is heightened and it has an edge. The costumes bring happiness and enhance the laughter.”
Tomei’s character gives a lot of advice—mostly unsolicited—to her daughter throughout You’re Dating a Narcissist! When asked about the best advice she’s ever received in her own life, she says, “‘Dance a lot’ is probably the best advice someone can give. Stay in your body and dance”—and this lesson has clearly worked out beautifully for the star.
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