How to Stop Emotional Eating: Simple, Expert-Backed Tips to Break the Habit
See the ‘M&M meditation’ that encourages mindful eating
We’ve all found ourselves staring down at the bottom of an empty bag of chips (tub of ice cream or insert your favorite snack here) at the end of a stressful day. Though emotional eating is a perfectly natural self-soothing response to anxiety and difficult emotions, it can make us feel even worse over the long term. Here, experts share easy, proven techniques to help put you back in the driver’s seat, so that you can finally swap self-recrimination with self-compassion—the key to stopping emotional eating once and for all.
It’s not your fault
“There are eight brain chemicals that get activated when we’re stressed, and they drive us to eat,” says psychologist Laurel Mellin, PhD, author of 1-2-3 JOY!: Easy, Natural Weight Loss that is Scientific, Proven, Drug-Free & Fun. “Say you were ridiculed at school as a child, and when you came home, you found comfort in cinnamon rolls. Today, even a little bit of stress activates those same brain circuits, and you can’t help but reach for cinnamon rolls.” The solution, she says, is not to blame yourself but to switch off those circuits by processing underlying emotions.
Identify ‘hidden hungers’
I have no willpower. Sound familiar? We’ve all berated ourselves with those words, but such distorted thinking perpetuates emotional eating, says psychologist Melissa McCreery, PhD, author of The Emotional Eating Rescue Plan for Smart, Busy Women. “It has nothing to do with self-control—it’s a response to a ‘hidden hunger.’” To identify yours, ask yourself what you’re feeling. “Just saying, I’m stressed right now, helps you realize you may be craving something else, like a conversation with a good friend. This shift toward awareness lets you begin to take the power back from urges.”
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Picture a train to nowhere
Would you hop on a train to New York if you were headed to Chicago? Of course not. The same logic applies to how we think about food, says therapist Karen R. Koenig, M.Ed, author of The Food and Feelings Workbook. “There’s no reason to get on board with thoughts leading somewhere we don’t want to go, namely toward guilt.” When her clients replay mental scripts like, I ate this, so I’m bad, she urges them to envision a train bound for “Nonsenseville” and let it speed past. Picturing negative thoughts zoom by helps hardwire a healthier outlook.
Retrain your brain
When you stress eat, your emotional brain is in control—it’s very difficult to deny that need, so don’t try to, encourages Mellin. Instead, she advises doing an “emotional debriefing” the next day. “Take a moment to vent or complain that you overate,” she says. This opens up the neural pathway to what causes you to stress eat. “Then try to express four key emotions: anger, sadness, fear and guilt,” she says. The mini catharsis can gradually rewire your brain so you’re less likely to turn to food in moments of emotional stress.
Prioritize quality Zzzs
Getting enough sleep helps curb emotional eating, says psychiatrist Debra L. Safer, MD, author of The DBT Solution for Emotional Eating. “When we’re well rested, we’re less vulnerable to stress. But most of us tend to get anxious at night because the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain that exerts control—has been so taxed by the end of the day.” It makes sense we want to soothe ourselves with food, but we should ask ourselves if there are other ways to unwind, like going for a walk, playing with a pet or connecting with a friend.
Baby your senses
“At the start and end of each day, do a brief check-in with yourself, asking, How can I feed my spirit? ” suggests McCreery. It could be anything from journaling to meditating. Still not sure how to soothe yourself? “One reason food is so comforting is that it’s such a sensory experience—that’s why it’s helpful to find ways to feed your other senses, from putting on a scented lotion to listening to music.” These small sensory swaps restore us so we’re less likely to overeat.
Picture past and future
Empathizing with your younger or older self can short-circuit emotional eating, says Dr. Safer. “If you envision your younger self, you might think about how you don’t want to rob her of your full potential by doing something that doesn’t align with your health goals.” Or picture your future self and imagine how you’ll feel after stress eating. This mind trick “reminds you of your values that are otherwise hard to access in the moment.”
Eat M&M’s mindfully
“Stress eating numbs us,” says Dr. Safer. “Mindful eating does the opposite: It broadens our focus, keeping us in the moment.” She advises practicing with raisins: “Pick one up and look at it as if you’re an alien seeing it for the first time. Smell it and touch the sunken-in areas.” You can also do this with a snack that’s arguably more fun: “I have a patient who eats M&M’s one by one, really letting them melt.”
Show yourself compassion… always
Be patient with yourself, encourages therapist Julie Simon, MFT, author of The Emotional Eater’s Repair Manual. To foster a soothing inner nurturer, she suggests externalizing this feeling by picturing someone loving from your past, like your grandmother, sharing uplifting words such as, I’m here with you. “Practicing this will eventually help you internalize that voice,” she says. “For example, years ago when I was up late eating, suddenly, I heard, I care about you; we need to stop for tonight. Once you develop this compassionate voice, it’s there for life and will take care of you for life.”
Keep looking ahead
Progress isn’t a straight line—it’s full of setbacks as well as triumphs. The key is not letting the former get you down. “If you had a hard week of emotional eating, get curious about it,” urges McCreery. You may discover that 3 pm is a rough time for cravings because that’s when your energy dips—can you take a break at 1 pm to change this pattern? Looking ahead like this boosts resilience.
As you make healthy changes, it’s vital to reward yourself, adds eating disorders expert Kathryn Hansen, author of Brain over Binge: Why I Was Bulimic, Why Conventional Therapy Didn’t Work, and How I Recovered for Good. “This could simply mean savoring the pride you feel when you let an urge pass.” At the same time, remind yourself that there’s no such thing as eating “perfectly.” “Overeating now and then isn’t going to do much damage—but beating yourself up will.” She adds that noticing the time and energy you get back when you feel more in control may be the ultimate reward.
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