Dr. Mary Claire Haver: ‘You Don’t Have to White-Knuckle Your Way through Perimenopause’
The menopause expert reveals how to reclaim your energy and spark during perimenopause and beyond
Key Takeaways
- Mary Claire Haver, MD, shares how to listen to your body and advocate for yourself in midlife
- The women's health expert reveals the benefits of weight training, hormonal therapy and more
- She explains how learning to say 'no' has boosted her mental and physical health
Mary Claire Haver, MD, 57, is many things—a devoted wife and mother of two daughters and author of The New Menopause and The New Perimenopause, to name a few. But she is best known as a staunch advocate for women’s health. It’s a role she earned on the front lines of her own transition into perimenopause and menopause.
“I was anxious and gaining weight, and I couldn’t sleep,” she recalls. “When I finally understood what was happening hormonally, it was like someone turned the lights on. It redirected my career and my entire life.”
This new path led her to help women take their health into their own hands. “You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through the second half of your life,” she assures. “When women hear me say, ‘This isn’t your fault,’ something shifts. So many of them have spent years blaming themselves for brain fog, weight changes, mood swings. They were never the problem. The lack of information was.”
Woman's World Answers
Still, she’s the first to point out that hormones are just one facet of aging well—alongside sleep, stress management and nutrition.
Here, Dr. Haver, who appears on the cover of this week’s Woman’s World magazine (get your copy here!), shares tips ranging from how to prioritize your needs to the exercise tweaks that boost longevity.
Mary Claire Haver’s #1 tip: Say yes to yourself
“I spent decades putting everyone else first—my patients, my family, my career,” Dr. Haver recalls. “And I see this in almost every woman who walks through my door. We’re conditioned to deprioritize ourselves.
What I want women to hear, at every age, is that taking care of yourself is not selfish. It’s the foundation everything is built on. Whether that means having an honest conversation with your doctor about hormone therapy or safeguarding your sleep, these are acts of health, not indulgence.”
Her nonnegotiable for energy: Why sleep comes first
“Energy is everything as we get older,” says Dr. Haver. “The fatigue, the mental fog, the running on empty—so many women accept that as ‘just aging.’ But a lot of it is hormonal, treatable and reversible.
“Sleep comes first, because nothing else works when I’m depleted. I also try to eat in a way that keeps my blood sugar stable, because those crashes are energy killers. And I’ve gotten honest about stress—what I say yes to and what I don’t.”
Mary Claire Haver’s strength-training mindset shift
“I resistance-train consistently, not just for my body but for my brain, because the mood benefits are real,” Dr. Haver says. Her advice to women? “Stop exercising to be thin and start exercising to be strong.”
“Strength training stabilizes blood sugar and preserves the muscle mass that determines how well we age. When I reframe exercise this way with my patients, their worlds open up. Suddenly movement is something they do because it makes them feel powerful. That’s a different relationship with your body, and it’s one that women in midlife deserve.”
Mary Claire Haver on aging well: Invest in social connections
“Loneliness is a health crisis, and midlife is when it often peaks,” notes Dr. Haver. “Kids leave, relationships change and women can find themselves isolated.
Friendships are key to health, she says. “Social connection is as important to your health as sleep and nutrition. The relationships I’ve invested in, the women I can call when things are hard—those connections are load-bearing; they hold me up. And I think women underestimate how much we need to prioritize friendships the way we do a workout or a doctor’s appointment.”
Quickfire questions with Dr. Haver
We asked Dr. Haver to share fast, fun insights about her life—from what inspires her each day to the scent that instantly transports her down memory lane.
Woman’s World: What’s a compliment you love to give?
Dr. Haver: You matter.
WW: What’s the last thing that made you laugh?
Dr. Haver: My daughter should be a comedian. She’s the funniest person I know.
WW: What’s one way you feel better than ever?
Dr. Haver: My daughter should be a comedian. She’s the funniest person I know.
WW: What’s one word that describes you in your 50s?
Dr. Haver: Unstoppable.
WW: What burden have you learned to let go of?
Dr. Haver: The weight of others’ opinions. I trust myself in a way I never did at 30. Menopause will do that for you. When no one else is listening to your body, you learn to listen to yourself.
WW: What’s one myth about aging?
Dr. Haver: That it equals decline. Aging means having the clarity to see what matters and the confidence to let go of what doesn’t. I’m stronger, both physically and mentally, at 57 than I was at 37. I lift heavier weights. I speak more directly. I sleep better because I’m not carrying everyone’s expectations. That’s not decline. That’s evolution.
WW: What does your childhood smell like?
Dr. Haver: My mother’s gumbo. The smell of the holy trinity simmering—onions, garlic, peppers—brings me right back to our kitchen in Louisiana, to feeling safe and like I belonged. Even now, when I make it, I’m transported. It’s more than food. It’s home.
Don’t miss Dr. Haver’s new book!
Mary Claire Haver’s latest book, The New Perimenopause: An Evidence-Based Guide to Surviving the Zone of Chaos and Feeling Yourself Again (out April 7), was inspired by the countless women who told her, “I just don’t feel like myself.”
The first step to flipping that script? Read Dr. Haver’s book, packed with tips to help you rev your metabolism, feel sunnier and enjoy thicker hair and better sleep. “Above all, get your menopausal status evaluated by someone who takes your symptoms seriously,” she urges.
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