Are You ‘Cliterate?’ Sex Experts Reveal 10 Things Most Women Don’t Know About Their Bodies
We're busting the biggest myths about female anatomy, pleasure and what your body really needs
Key Takeaways
- Only 18 percent of women orgasm from penetration alone—clitoral touch matters most.
- The clitoris has 10,000+ nerve endings, and most of it is actually internal, not external.
- Your vagina has its own microbiome—don't disrupt it with harsh cleansers.
Here’s a fact that might surprise you: Most women were never taught the basics about their own bodies—and it’s not your fault. Sexual health research (and frankly, respect) for women has long lagged behind men’s research, leaving many of us in the dark about our own anatomy and pleasure. The good news? We asked top doctors and sexologists to clear up the most common questions and misconceptions women have about their bodies and their sex lives. Keep reading to become more “cliterate,” or literate in your own sexual anatomy and health. Consider this your permission slip for more understanding, more joy and a lot more pleasure ahead!
Understanding your sexual body
Only 42 U.S. states require sexual education in schools, and only five of those states require the information to be medically accurate, according to Boston University research. Here’s the quick sex ed you’ve always needed.
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Why the clitoris is overlooked—and underutilized
Despite being the primary female organ for pleasure, the clitoris is understudied. It wasn’t anatomically mapped until decades after the penis was studied in this way. But it isn’t just overlooked in the lab—it’s also often ignored in the bedroom.
While the historic, hetero model for sex involves a penis penetrating a vagina, most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm, says Estef Palacios, a clinical sexologist, therapist and in-house sexpert for Svakom, an adult toy company. “Despite the pressure many women feel to orgasm through penetration alone, research shows this is only a reality for 18 percent of women,” she explains. “The idea that penetration should be enough is largely a cultural myth rather than a biological norm.”
The orgasm gap is real
Men have far more orgasms than women, but it doesn’t need to be that way. Palacios reveals, “A large U.S. study involving more than 52,000 adults found that 95 percent of heterosexual men reported usually or always reaching orgasm during sexual intimacy, compared with only 65 percent of heterosexual women.” She adds, “Interestingly, that figure rose to 86 percent among lesbian women.”
Here’s where the story gets interesting: Our anatomy suggests the imbalance should be the other way around, if people had proper understanding. Unlike the penis, the clitoris is made for multiple orgasms, says Palacios. “After orgasm, a penis typically loses blood flow and requires a recovery period before another erection,” she explains. “The clitoris, however, maintains blood flow after climax, meaning it doesn’t immediately deflate or retract. This makes it possible to continue stimulation and achieve further orgasms.”
She says, “This raises an important question: What if the problem isn’t women’s ability to experience pleasure, but the way we’ve been taught to have sex? For decades, we’ve treated penetration as the main event and clitoral stimulation as something optional.” What she wishes more people knew: “The only known function of the clitoris is sexual pleasure, making it the only human organ of its kind!”
The clitoris is a bigger deal than you think
Another surprise: “The clitoris is much larger than the small external structure we see,” says Palacios. “Most of its anatomy is internal. Yet many women grow up knowing very little about it.”
She wants more women (and men) to understand the anatomy here. “The clitoris has over 10,000 nerve endings, making it highly sensitive to touch. It’s also much more than the small ‘love bean.’ Its internal structure extends throughout the vaginal canal.”
Why this understanding matters: “As a sexologist, I frequently encounter women who believe something is wrong with their bodies because they cannot orgasm through penetration alone,” Palacios explains. “But this is not a sexual dysfunction. It’s perfectly normal.” In fact, she points out, “Even when an orgasm feels ‘vaginal,’ it can actually involve indirect stimulation of these internal parts of the clitoris.”
Your vagina is a self-cleaning organ
“I am truly surprised every day by the things women don’t know about women’s sexual health. The options are endless,” reveals Duate Adegbite, MD, a family physician and medical director of the sexual health clinics at Toronto Public Health. One thing she tries to educate patients about is “that the vagina is a self-cleaning organ that doesn’t need to be cleaned with products.” She stresses, “the vagina isn’t supposed to have a flowery or fruity smell.”
Correcting misinformation about sexual health is “a topic I’m very passionate about,” she says. Why? Misunderstanding can lead women to use harsh cleansers, which can lead to pH imbalances, irritations or even infections.
Your vagina has its own microbiome
“The vagina has its own microbiome, and it matters,” explains Steven Goldberg, MD, a family and urgent care physician at UofLHealth in Louisville, Kentucky. “Far from sterile, the healthy vagina is dominated by Lactobacillus species that keep the environment acidic. And loss of that balance—known as dysbiosis—is linked to bacterial vaginosis, higher susceptibility to STIs including HPV, and even pregnancy complications.” He says, “This balance shifts naturally with the menstrual cycle, hormones and menopause.” But being aware it exists helps you recognize changes that might need a doctor’s insight or treatment.
Many women misread their cycles
According to a Maven Clinic educational campaign, “One in three women report not being able to correctly identify their fertile window, many say they weren’t prepared for the postpartum period and 80 percent say they never learned about menopause in school.” The sentiment many women shared was “Why didn’t anybody tell me this sooner?!”
Dr. Adegbite says she often has patients who don’t understand “that vaginal discharge changes throughout the cycle, that the length of the menstrual cycle isn’t how many days you’re bleeding but from day one of a period until day one of the next period, and that you don’t pee out of your vagina, it’s out of your urethra which is a separate hole.”
Yes, ‘lady boners’ are a real thing
This may sound surprising: “The penis and vulva are made from the same developmental cells and, like the penis, the clitoris is made up of spongy erectile tissue,” explains Palacios. “This means that, when aroused, the blood vessels in the clitoris fill up, causing it to swell and stand out more prominently. This increased blood flow and sensitivity can then enhance pleasure.”
Breast shape can influence pleasure
From a nerve standpoint, research shows that dense breast tissue is less sensitive than non-dense, fatty tissue, during mammograms. But what do we know about these so-called secondary erogenous zones for sexual pleasure? Overall, tissue of small breasts tends to be more sensitive to touch than that of larger breasts. But the most sensitive areas tend to be the nipples and areolas. And your unique configuration may matter. A new 2026 meta-analysis published in the journal Sexual Medicine finds that larger areolas and more prominent nipples (measuring more than 6 mm) were linked to having the strongest, most immediate response to stimulation.
Sex is stress relieving for women
Gynecologist Anna Cabeca, DO, tries to inform her patients about how pleasure can boost the hormone oxytocin in the body—sometimes called the cuddle or bonding chemical—creating a stress-relieving effect. She’s even been known to prescribe what she calls “OxyPlay” to patients to find fun activities to boost oxytocin in the body. Her go-to suggestion: “What’s better than an apple a day? An orgasm a day!”
We should practice pleasure
Many ob-gyns report that their only training in medical school about women’s sexual health focused on pregnancy. But a woman’s sexual life encompasses so much more. “We’ve spent generations teaching women how to avoid pregnancy, but far too little about how to experience pleasure,” says Palacios. “Perhaps the biggest problem isn’t that women don’t know how to orgasm, but that society has taught them to prioritize everyone else’s pleasure before their own.” She adds, education isn’t just about learning to prevent risks. “It should also empower us to understand our bodies, communicate our desires and recognize that female pleasure is not secondary.”
The bottom line on understanding your sexual health
The more “cliterate” we become, the less room there is for shame, confusion or guesswork—and the more room there is for real enjoyment. Understanding your body isn’t just empowering, it’s the first step toward better sex, better communication with your partner and a deeper sense of confidence in your own skin.
You deserve desire
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Production of this article included the use of AI. It was reviewed and edited by a team of content specialists.