Keltie Knight’s LadyGang ‘Pillow Talk’ Gets Candid About Low Desire: ‘We’ll Scream Till Somebody Hears Us’

If perimenopause has stolen your sex drive and you’ve (sing it with me) “lost that loving feeling,” help is here. The popular LadyGang podcast recently hosted a candid “pillow talk” conversation about women’s sexual health, including news about Addyi—the FDA-approved treatment for low desire—from two leading experts in the field. And their insights may change your life. Here are the key takeaways from this important discussion and how it can help you live your best life in and out of the bedroom!

Meet the trailblazing women behind this game-changing conversation

It was a who’s who of influential women. First were the three cohosts of LadyGang, a podcast community created more than 10 years ago so that women would “feel less alone.” The group is led by New York Times bestseller Keltie Knight, author of the upcoming buzzy book The F*ck Them Theory.

Also joining the discussion was Sasha Davenport, MD, of Atrium Health, a forward-thinking ob-gyn working on the front lines of the women’s sexual health revolution today.

And rounding out the chat was women’s health advocate Cindy Eckert, the pharmaceutical CEO who fought for 10 years to bring Addyi (sometimes called the “female Viagra”) to consumers. The star of the award-winning documentary The Pink Pill is known for her tireless work and her signature pink wardrobe.

Wondering where your desire went? Our Desire Hub has expert answers and ways to get your spark back.

Wellness

Women Are Finally Talking About Low Desire—And It's Changing Lives

Millions of women have kept their low desire a secret, thinking they were alone. A voice in their head kept whispering: Is it just me? Their desire vanished—not overnight, but slowly like the shift of seasons. And by the time they realized it was gone, many of them felt too ashamed or embarrassed to bring […]

5 insights about low sexual desire every woman should know

If you’re aware that low sexual desire is a real condition and there’s an FDA-approved drug that can treat it, “you’re ahead of the curve,” Eckert says. Here’s more info to keep you informed:

Will perimenopausal bloodwork explain my low libido?

Many women assume a simple blood test will reveal why their libido has vanished. But Dr. Davenport explains it’s not that straightforward: “Your blood work is all over the place in perimenopause. Your levels are going up and down and up and down, and so if I get a snapshot somewhere in that up and down in the normal range, it doesn’t change any of the things you’re going through.” That’s why she doesn’t usually test hormones during perimenopause. Instead, she listens when patients say, “I don’t feel like myself.” But prescribing menopausal hormone therapy (MHT)—formerly known as hormone replacement therapy (HRT)—isn’t always the answer. “I’m not saying it’s hormones or bust.”

How can non-hormonal Addyi help treat low desire in women?

“It’s a daily dose of dopamine,” says Eckert. Addyi (flibanserin) is the only FDA-approved once-daily pill that works on brain chemistry to treat low desire in women, a condition formally known as hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD). Dr. Davenport says, “Your symptoms are real…and there are options” that can help.

What’s a telltale sign of HSDD?

For too long, doctors have dismissed women’s concerns, telling them low desire is just a normal part of aging. But it doesn’t have to be. “If someone says their desire has changed from baseline, that should be the trigger word,” reveals Dr. Davenport. She acknowledges a painful reality many women face: “The whole thing with ‘we need alcohol to have sex to power through it.’ We’ve got better tools now!”

She explains there are diagnostic questionnaires online that can guide you. Tell a doctor, “Hey, I screen positive for this. I have HSDD and I’d like to try this medication.”

Women’s health is underfunded. Is there any hope on the horizon?

Dr. Davenport acknowledges, “there’s a huge gap in perimenopausal care.” Eckert calls it “devastating,” citing how only one percent of funding goes toward women’s health research. But she does see progress up ahead. “The answer is women will fix it. Whether it’s Melinda Gates giving up a bunch of her wealth to this, or individuals. I’m supporting. I’m doing a $100,000 match for Dr. Vonda Wright” who is currently trying to raise $79 million for women’s health.

Eckert adds, “At the FDA, I think they’ve run out of excuses to not take these issues seriously. Actually, in the last couple years, I’ve had a number of public meetings around women’s health issues where it’s undeniable because women are taking the mic” and demanding change.

Wellness

Stop Suffering in Silence: How To Talk to a Doctor About HSDD and Low Desire

When we misplace our keys or reading glasses, we joke about it with our family and social circle. But when we lose something else—our sexual desire—we get real quiet. These days, there’s no reason to suffer in silence. If this important part of your life has gone missing, speak up at your next doctor’s appointment. […]

What if my doctor doesn’t know about Addyi or HSDD?

While most ob-gyns are not trained in perimenopause, menopause or low desire, there are doctors who are leading the way. “There’s a reason that the people who do this are screaming about it as loud as we can, because we need everyone to provide this care,” says Dr. Davenport. “We’ll keep screaming till somebody hears us.”

Deal of the Day

This Deep Conditioning Collagen Hair Mask for Has 4.9 Stars and Is 80% Off — Get It for $20! View Deal

Eckert adds, “Doctors actually get medical education credit for watching the [Pink Pill] film and doing a reflection on it…It’s about a much bigger picture of the gender disparity in medicine.”

The good news: If your doctor isn’t responsive or knowledgeable, there is easy online help available. Knight stresses, “If you don’t want to switch doctors because that seems like a very stressful thing, you have Addyi.com to find a telehealth medical doctor.” And by filling out a simple form, you can get access to real help fast.

The bottom line on low desire

This is a transformative moment for women’s sexual health. The taboo is lifting, treatments are available and advocates are fighting for you. Eckert gushes, “This community is incredible, and the Dr. Davenports are here to save us. They are the heroes of this story” along with “the women who show up and say the hard thing out loud… they know if I don’t say it, it never changes!”