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How YOU Brewin’? 31 Coffee Jokes Guaranteed to Put a Smile on Your Mug

Coffee, we love you a latte!

Ahh, coffee. Whether you prefer it black, with cream or loaded with flavor shots, whipped cream and sprinkles, there’s nothing quite like that first sip…or the second or third… Because let’s be honest, we just can’t get enough coffee! But we also know we may be a tad too reliant on our wake-me-up beverage. That’s why we rounded up our favorite coffee jokes, guaranteed to make you laugh so hard you’ll spill your beloved brew!

Read on for our collection of the best coffee jokes. And, hey, if you need some delicious coffee inspiration, check out these recipes to make your own skinny syrup!

Coffee comedy

  • Q: What did the coffee say about its late assignment?
  • A: Better latte than never!
  • Q: What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
  • A: A depresso
  • Q: What’s it called when you steal someone’s coffee? –
  • A: A mugging!
  • Q: Why did the espresso keep checking his watch?
  • A: Because he was pressed for time.
  • Q: What did the coffee addict name her cats?
  • A: Cream and Sugar.
  • Q: What happened when one friend forgot to brew her pal a coffee?
  • A: Their friendship came to a bitter end.
  • Q: How are coffee beans like teenagers?
  • A: They are always getting grounded.
  • Q: What do you call it when you walk into a cafe you’re sure you’ve been to before?
  • A: Déjà brew.

Coffee puns

  • Thanks a latte for me being my friend
  • You mocha me very happy.
  • You’re brew-ti-ful.
  • She drank so much coffee at work, she considered it part of her daily grind.
  • I do some of my best thinking over coffee. I tend to have a latte on my mind.
  • A yawn is just a silent scream for coffee.
  • Coffee and I are the perfect blend.
  • If the coffee is decaf, we’re gonna have a latte problems.

Living the coffee-loving life

  • A tall blonde walks into Starbucks. The barista says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The blonde says, “You have a drink named Susan?”
  • Procaffeinating (n). – the tendency to not start anything until you’ve had your coffee.
  •  I like my men like I like my coffee…Tall, dark and rich
  • A customer walks into a coffee shop. She asks the barista, “How much for a cup of coffee?” The barista points to the menu and says, “Five dollars for a cup of coffee and refills are free.” The customer responds, “Thanks. I’ll have a refill.”
  • Don’t ever let anyone tell you fairy tales aren’t real. I wake up every morning to drink a potion made from magic beans that brings me back to life.
  • Every morning, I see this exhausted woman who looks like she would murder someone for a cup of coffee. I really should move that mirror.
  • A woman walks into a coffee shop carrying a big chunk of asphalt under her arm. At the counter she says, “I’ll take a large latte for myself, please, and one for the road.”
  • There are two types of people in this world: People who love Starbucks and liars.
  • If you replace your morning coffee with green tea ….You can lose up to 87% of what little joy you feel in the morning.

Coffee memes

Click through the links below for even more laughs

50 Halloween Jokes Guaranteed To Tickle *Your* Funny Bone

Book Jokes That Will Make You Laugh So Hard The Librarian Will Give You a Dirty Look

Autumn Jokes So Funny They’ll Have *You* Turning Red and Falling On The Ground : )

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