The 28 Best Dad Jokes
He'll want to add these to his repertoire
Sure, father’s offer support, guidance and wisdom, but they also keep us laughing (or groaning) with corny dad jokes. Want to give the father in your life the ultimate gift? Beat him at his own game with some of these funny dad jokes.
What are dad jokes, anyway?
Dad jokes are dorky, silly and lovable… like a lot of dads out there. Take, for example, Phil Dunphy, from Modern Family, who offered the timeless advice: “Act like a parent, talk like a peer. I call it peer-renting.” While there are as many types of dad jokes as there are dads, they all have a few things in common. They’re wholesome, usually punny and somehow funny and un-funny at the same time. Keep reading for some of the best dad jokes across a variety of categories. And if you’re ready for more laughs, check out these teacher-related jokes! (And then click through for our best mom jokes!)
Celebrity Dad Jokes
Just because these dads are in the limelight doesn’t mean they can’t also make their families’ eyes roll with corny jokes. See these funny, punny one-liners from some of Hollywood’s hilarious father figures.
- “What’s the best social media snack? Insta-Graham crackers!” —Tracey Morgan
- “What did the shark say to the chunky fish? It’s time to scale it back.” —Ryan Reynolds
- “What did the flip-flops say to the tennis shoes? Quit sneaking around!” —Ryan Reynolds
- “How does a pilot take his sandwich? Plane.” —Ryan Reynolds
- “What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide.” —Will Ferrell
- “What do you call a lazy doctor? Dr. Do-Little” —Will Ferrell
- “What kind of car does an egg drive? A Yolkswagen.” —Mark Wahlberg
- “What did the plumber say to the singer? Nice Pipes.” —Mark Wahlberg
- “Why did the salad go to the studio? To get some beets.” —Mark Wahlberg
- “Why does a duck have feathers? To cover up his butt quack.” —John Lithgow
- “How do you catch a unique animal? You-niq up on it.” —Samuel L. Jackson
- “Why didn’t the boat dock? Too much pier pressure.” —Ike Barinholtz
- “I heard T-Mobile can rap, but he got shown up when Sam sung.” —Mario Lopez
- “How does a teddy bear decline a meal? ‘I’m okay, I’m stuffed.’” —Mario Lopez
- “What type of music are pimples scared of? Pop music!” —Joel McHale
- “What do you call bacon that fell on the dirt? Ground hog.” —Joel McHale
- “Why do trees make terrible fathers? All they do is leave.” —Joel McHale
- “Went to Disneyland because my daughter’s obsessed with Mickey Mouse. She was so excited when I got home and told her.” —Ryan Reynolds
- “I’d walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it’s dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair.” —Ryan Reynolds
Cartoon Dad Jokes
As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words. We think these pictures provide a thousand laughs, too!
Longer Dad Jokes
While one-liners and question-and-answer jokes are quick and funny, sometimes a longer setup makes the punchline even funnier. These dad jokes are sure to tickle the whole family’s funny bone.
- One evening, a man was lying on the couch when he noticed his wife going from room to room. He watched her for a while before finally asking what she was doing. She stopped in front of him and asked, “Have you seen the dog bowl?” Taken aback, the husband exclaimed, “I didn’t know he could!”
- A boy asks his father, “Dad, what happens if you eat a bug?” The dad replies, “Let’s discuss it later—we don’t talk about things like that over dinner.” After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me earlier?” “Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your soup, but it’s gone now.”
- A man went to the information desk at a bookstore hoping to find a book for his new pet. “I’m looking for a book about turtles,” he said. The worker nodded in response. “Hardback?” “Yes,” replied the man. “And little heads.”
- A father wanted to prove that he’s not just a boring dad, so he went and got his first tattoo. When he got home, he excitedly showed it off to his wife and kids. “Oh, cool! It’s… uhh?” his wife asked. “It’s the thermos I bring to work every day!” he replied proudly. Not sure how to reply, his daughter starts to reach out toward him and says, “Well, uh, it certainly is…” Dad slaps her hand away and says, “Don’t touch the thermos-tat!”
Looking for more laughs? Click through for our list of nurse jokes.
